December 20th, 2020

At a party, walk out to the back yard. People are hanging out in the porch and in the yard. I look at the neighbors’ and realize that I’m at a house 2 doors down from the Harrell’s! Wave at them. Walk back inside, talk to the host, and clean up some. I need to get a ride back to the city but no one is going. I ask for a ride to the train. No one-start walking.

December 19th, 2020

In Long Beach? Walk up to the market with M to get almond croissants. It’s afternoon, so we don’t find any and they’ve left. Go up further-no joy. M goes back and I walk around to the cafe. Delynda calls to me from the 2nd floor and tells me to tell mom to wait a day. I see Uncle Ivor sitting there. Walk down the street and run into Mike K-say hi and continue. Climb up a wall to a parking lot as a shortcut home. Some girl in a car calls to me. The car is filled with marinade I kiss her-very salty and lick her nipples. She says to go up to her place. I go into the lobby and look at the notices and people on the wall. Go up and we want to get started, but people come in A witch gives her a drink and says she may look different. I go to leave and she tells some guy to try to hit me. He tosses something at me and evade it. He does it again and take it and put it in a library table’s drawer. It breaks and I go underneath and fix it. Smell smoke and pull up the carpet, look through the floorboards and see a furnace and smoke.

December 17th, 2020

In an arcade. Playing a game where you push on levers and stuff as balls roll towards you on a ramp. Play a bit, then start just pushing the balls back up the ramp. They don’t like it, and I stop. Some boss guy comes over and tells me to leave. I ignore him, do the last balls and leave. Some worker follows me and tells me that boss is a dick. I say yeah and leave.

December 14th, 2020

In my bedroom, moving things around. Push the tv and stereo back close to the wall. I hear a jet outside and a bird flies in. I know this is the sign for a visitation. I grab the bird and it dissolves into feathers. I turn to go to bed and someone picks me up and carries me. I say I love you and they take me up. (see animation of the chakras)

In a shop, talking with friends about why I decided not to take initiation. Look into the initiates’ room-can’t go in. Look at some books and think about my experiences.

At a friends’ house, writing a note about some girl they’re interested in. Look through a big magazine of stuff. Accidentally call a girl I want to see and she says they’re going to a club-=it’s 1 AM. I write it down and call my friend, but they’re asleep.

At school, walk through the campus and into a dorm. Go downstairs.

December 10th, 2020

Looking at a small house, drive up, some car is chasing us. Pull over and follow it. Go on the street and look at the house-it’s nice. Walk around, someone says there’s a pig waste processing place close by. Look and see it down the hill.

December 9th, 2020

Hanging out at home with Jerry J?, going to do some acid. We take it, and walk around waiting.

At a church with Earl T. We’re setting up something, and I go to get the guitar stringed. I get the first string on-it has odd circle hooks to hold it in place. I try to find the guitar case to get more strings, but it’s attached to a huge string of stuff. Earl says he does everything for the church, and that’s how he keep his stuff. Walk over to the entrance, and ask the pastor if he knows how many POC and LGBTQ folks are in the organization. He doesn’t I tell him that’s something he needs to know.

December 7th, 2020

In Long Beach, walking from the 405 to downtown. Try to find a hummus place that’s on the way. Go into one place, but the man misunderstands me so I leave. Get hung up walking on a overpass that dead ends and need to cross with lots of cars moving fast. Backtrack, and some punk kids ask me if I need help. I’m typing the name of the place into my phone so I say no, but they’re persistent. I take off my shirt and walk away. Walk back to the place, but have to go down off another overpass. Hang down, then drop to the first level, then to the ground. Keep walking.

December 6th, 2020

Getting ready to leave school-pack up my area. Go look for Peter V, who’s driving home. I look back and see that I forgot to disassemble the walls. I suggest we take a shortcut, but the ropes gut wants a cert. I drop down and walk up the hill. Go into the room and Pete isn’t there-I finally see him and we get into his car-put my stuff in the back seat. We leave and I realize my iPod is back in my room.

December 4th, 2020

At school after break, arranging my room. Marybelle comes by and we hug and kiss. Go back to her room to arrange. I want her real bad. She says no, says I smoke too much pot. I lease as her friend arrives. Go to the cafeteria, lots of people there. Get food, go back to my room.

December 3rd, 2020

In the bedroom, watching a zoom meeting. One of the guys sits up and starts playing with himself, but blurred out. A bunch of frames of people having sex show up too. I’m like, “no way.”

In a store, Ian is behind the counter. I walk past, and suddenly I’m on the ground by the wall and naked. Someone says Ian took my clothes. I get up and go over there, glaring, and he runs out.