February 2nd, 2021

Out in a big field, looking at the sky. There’s a green star near the top, and I think it’s an alien as it gets brighter. Look at the moon, and try to take a picture. Don’t get a good one. Try again, but it’s between 2 buildings and setting and moving fast. Look back at the star, see a sphere coming our way. Start to go to take cover. Go into a building set into the hill. Some guy says not to go into the cave as it might collapse. Peek around and watch the sphere land and roll down the hill. Brace for the shockwave.

January 31st, 2021

Following along a path for a bike/running race. Go up a hill and look into a building-there’s a fire burning. Watch and a big storm comes and we take cover. Go back down to look at the aftermath.

At work, trying to get a program that does real-time etl running.

January 27th, 2021

Walking through an auditorium, try to take a shortcut through a row. I get to the end, and some people are sitting on the floor. I step over them, and accidentally step on some girl’s drink. I say sorry and toss $5 to pay, them walk away. She refuses the money, and I call her a bitch as I walk away. Her boyfriend gets mad, and I turn to fight him.

January 26th, 2021

At school, getting ready to move out. There are piles of stuff to go through. My room is almost done, and I go back out to help with the rest. Bob H is complaining about something, and I move some stuff to the trash pile.

January 25th, 2021

At 1023, in the apartment, but it’s not mine anymore. They ask me to leave and I go outside. There’s a party going on, and I walk back to the entrance. A jet flies past and starts circling. I can’t elevate because I’m too drunk. The building does instead, and starts moving towards downtown. We get to the arena, and I get out and go down by the skatepark. I slide around a bit, then leave.

January 12th, 2021

Turning onto Lander from Sterncrest. There’s a car coming but I have room. Turn, and the car comes flying past me on the right. He loses control and goes into a wall on the left. I pass him, and there are several more cars that are crashed in the road. We get out and start walking. Mom is walking in the middle of the street as we pass Emery-I tell her to stop looking at her tables and get to the side of the road. She ignores me. I tell her again.

January 11th, 2021

Going into an airport. Look through an envelope to see if I can skip the line. I’m going to see Jo K who’s in the hospital and not liking it. (a note on the boarding pass tells me this) It’s confusing, but I just go through the gate. It’s a tiny airport-see my gate, then go to the bathroom. There’s only a unisex one. One of the stalls has a guy reclining with a pile of bottles next to him. Go in and fume about the guy.

At a kite thing.

In a bathroom. A really fat guy comes into the next stall and he’s not sitting down-just going to aim. I wipe quick and get out before he does it. There’s poop everywhere, he’s tracking it out.

Walking around the hill on Harrison.

January 9th, 2021

In the shower, there are lots of blankets and stuff here. Leslie B. comes in and takes them from me. I have a lot of wet fiber on me too, and I pick it off. Finish up and Leslie wants to get in.

Lying in bed, face down. Want to go to the spirit world. Look between the pillows and see the lens. Focus it down to one and drop down. Go through the earth, then to a dark place. Look around and see an orange structure. Get scared and go back up.

January 6th, 2021

Walking past PWS, come across Olivia? from Matt’s class. Go back to her place-they’re living in a tiny room in a vacant lot. Say hi to her parents, string her hammock across their bed. They get in, there’s a baby in the corner. Leave, walk up the street.

In a big room at school, sitting at a table. On my phone, show some of the girls the HP-15 calculator app I use. They ooh and aah and I tap their phone with mine to transfer it. I tell them about the app Matt uses. One of them takes my phone to look at it. Gives it back and it’s shrunken. Walk around to the head of the table, try to get it back into the case, finally do.

At school, go into the bathroom to poop. Get it done, but people start coming in for lunch. Quickly wipe, then flush, but the drain is open and the poop is huge and stuck and have to flush again. Someone says something about how that’s the way it is.

December 20th, 2020

At a party, walk out to the back yard. People are hanging out in the porch and in the yard. I look at the neighbors’ and realize that I’m at a house 2 doors down from the Harrell’s! Wave at them. Walk back inside, talk to the host, and clean up some. I need to get a ride back to the city but no one is going. I ask for a ride to the train. No one-start walking.

December 19th, 2020

In Long Beach? Walk up to the market with M to get almond croissants. It’s afternoon, so we don’t find any and they’ve left. Go up further-no joy. M goes back and I walk around to the cafe. Delynda calls to me from the 2nd floor and tells me to tell mom to wait a day. I see Uncle Ivor sitting there. Walk down the street and run into Mike K-say hi and continue. Climb up a wall to a parking lot as a shortcut home. Some girl in a car calls to me. The car is filled with marinade I kiss her-very salty and lick her nipples. She says to go up to her place. I go into the lobby and look at the notices and people on the wall. Go up and we want to get started, but people come in A witch gives her a drink and says she may look different. I go to leave and she tells some guy to try to hit me. He tosses something at me and evade it. He does it again and take it and put it in a library table’s drawer. It breaks and I go underneath and fix it. Smell smoke and pull up the carpet, look through the floorboards and see a furnace and smoke.

December 17th, 2020

In an arcade. Playing a game where you push on levers and stuff as balls roll towards you on a ramp. Play a bit, then start just pushing the balls back up the ramp. They don’t like it, and I stop. Some boss guy comes over and tells me to leave. I ignore him, do the last balls and leave. Some worker follows me and tells me that boss is a dick. I say yeah and leave.

December 14th, 2020

In my bedroom, moving things around. Push the tv and stereo back close to the wall. I hear a jet outside and a bird flies in. I know this is the sign for a visitation. I grab the bird and it dissolves into feathers. I turn to go to bed and someone picks me up and carries me. I say I love you and they take me up. (see animation of the chakras)

In a shop, talking with friends about why I decided not to take initiation. Look into the initiates’ room-can’t go in. Look at some books and think about my experiences.

At a friends’ house, writing a note about some girl they’re interested in. Look through a big magazine of stuff. Accidentally call a girl I want to see and she says they’re going to a club-=it’s 1 AM. I write it down and call my friend, but they’re asleep.

At school, walk through the campus and into a dorm. Go downstairs.

December 10th, 2020

Looking at a small house, drive up, some car is chasing us. Pull over and follow it. Go on the street and look at the house-it’s nice. Walk around, someone says there’s a pig waste processing place close by. Look and see it down the hill.

December 9th, 2020

Hanging out at home with Jerry J?, going to do some acid. We take it, and walk around waiting.

At a church with Earl T. We’re setting up something, and I go to get the guitar stringed. I get the first string on-it has odd circle hooks to hold it in place. I try to find the guitar case to get more strings, but it’s attached to a huge string of stuff. Earl says he does everything for the church, and that’s how he keep his stuff. Walk over to the entrance, and ask the pastor if he knows how many POC and LGBTQ folks are in the organization. He doesn’t I tell him that’s something he needs to know.

December 7th, 2020

In Long Beach, walking from the 405 to downtown. Try to find a hummus place that’s on the way. Go into one place, but the man misunderstands me so I leave. Get hung up walking on a overpass that dead ends and need to cross with lots of cars moving fast. Backtrack, and some punk kids ask me if I need help. I’m typing the name of the place into my phone so I say no, but they’re persistent. I take off my shirt and walk away. Walk back to the place, but have to go down off another overpass. Hang down, then drop to the first level, then to the ground. Keep walking.

December 6th, 2020

Getting ready to leave school-pack up my area. Go look for Peter V, who’s driving home. I look back and see that I forgot to disassemble the walls. I suggest we take a shortcut, but the ropes gut wants a cert. I drop down and walk up the hill. Go into the room and Pete isn’t there-I finally see him and we get into his car-put my stuff in the back seat. We leave and I realize my iPod is back in my room.

December 4th, 2020

At school after break, arranging my room. Marybelle comes by and we hug and kiss. Go back to her room to arrange. I want her real bad. She says no, says I smoke too much pot. I lease as her friend arrives. Go to the cafeteria, lots of people there. Get food, go back to my room.

December 3rd, 2020

In the bedroom, watching a zoom meeting. One of the guys sits up and starts playing with himself, but blurred out. A bunch of frames of people having sex show up too. I’m like, “no way.”

In a store, Ian is behind the counter. I walk past, and suddenly I’m on the ground by the wall and naked. Someone says Ian took my clothes. I get up and go over there, glaring, and he runs out.

December 2nd, 2020

At the fancy house with gardens, walk up and into the main house. The man is leaving. Put back a pile of jeans that’s falling over. Go back to garden, many shovels lying around. Lady comes and says we have them all and she needs some. I offer to take some back, walk up and gather them. Walk with her to the main house, in the kitchen, an odd insect flies around, then another. I go back to the garden.

With some guy, we’re walking through a parking lot. He wants to kiss me and I realize he thinks I’m gay because I went out with him. I tell him and he’s disappointed.

Waiting in downtown Milwaukie/OHS for the bus. It comes but turns towards towards SOM Center. It’s not going to get Colin, and Mom and Matt and I talk about how to get Colin. We talk about whether Dad or I should get him. The roads are quite snowy.