Category: Blog

Uhhh, not much happening-on a product release crunch & the boss wants me to put in more hours-I don’t like that… Oh, whell. What’s happened? Nothing, of course. Last Thursday I saw Diana-haven’t been to that place since Judy Henske…She was her usual good self. Friday I checked Diane’s monitor-it was OK. Flew Friday, Saturday, Monday (windy! power kiting!). Went to the Blue Fri & Sat after flying. It’s been rainy, but it’s sunny today-hopefully I can fly later. I’ve been a total jel-nothing but listening to Pink Floyd, work, TV, eat, sleep and fly. I’m sinking down, down, down. Interesting dreams and the usual emotional garbage… Haven’t heard from Diane since Saturday-and not much even then. I am so through with women-if they want me, they’ll have to get me-I’m not doin’ nuttin’! (if you’re female, email me (click here)…) Out.

Well, here we are again-your basic workday…So, what’s happening, you ask? Whattya think has happened-nothing! I didn’t go out New Year’s. Set up Diane’s computer that Thursday, flew over the weekend, Monday (went to the Blue afterwards-Meg is going to NYC) and yesterday. The rest has been work and laze, laze, laze. I had an interesting nighttime experience a few days ago-basically the result of too much caffeine too close to bedtime. Oh well-it was fun and enlightening. Not a lot else-Diana is playing at Genghis Cohen tonight, Diane left a candle burning on her monitor all night and called me at 1:30am freaking…I’ll visit her today to see what’s up with it… Uhhh, back to work-that’s it-bye!

Monday, blue Monday.Another week-even though Wednesday is a holiday… So what’s happened? Not a lot-Christmas at my parents-the usual slow day with them-no really awesome presents-I really didn’t ask for much. Thursday I brought dinner to Diane-she just moved into a new apartment. We went out after that-I got home late & woke up sick as a dog! I got a call Friday afternoon-ACLU’s server crashed all the way. I had to work on it all weekend-fortunately we got it mostly all back-I had to hack into the dead drives to get 2 files out-no problem. Glen was so grateful… What else? Not a lot-the usual emotional stuff I’m going through right now-I’ve gotta talk this out with her. Some interesting dreams. My life is pretty small as far as events go-no plans yet for New Year’s. No flying since a week Saturday…That’s all folks!

Hey! I’m finally doing this regularly again (I should make a habit of it…) Oh whell. So, how was my weekend??? I flew Friday afternoon (OK winds), stayed at home that night, read some. Lazed around Saturday-flew from 2 to 6 or so. The wind was great! I flew into the dark and had a blast. Talked to Diane 1ish-her life is all squared away again. I wish I could say that… Delivered a poster to my parents and went to a party that night. The usual I guess-the last party in that place…up ’til 6, good fun was had by all, I think. One of guys was a flyer!!!!! Sunday I was hung over…slept all day. Chatted with Diane late-she was working. So what’s up with all that & me? I wish I knew. I’m trying not to dwell on it too much, but it’s tough. Today’s work as usual, trying to get it all done by the end of the year-not going to happen, as I don’t have a dedicated tester.

I finally am getting around to this-my life, and time is slipping like sand or water through my hands….

What to write about since September??? Quite a bit has happened, but in many respects, nothing at all has happened. Such is my life… Here’s what’s up in a factual list (this is culled from memories and journal entries): I got my kitchen, bathroom, trim and couches done, put up some pictures, got a new TV, took my bookshelf out of the living room, got rid of a bunch of books and stuff, cleaned up closets, etc.-the place looks nice. Worked out for a while, stopped, flew my kite regularly for a while, stopped (went flying Tues.-I felt much better afterwards). Went to a kite convention in Oct.-the wind sucked, but good to see all those flyers. Played in the UCLA gamelan again this fall-good, but I got moved to Kedjar from Djegong-I’m still learning to be the metronome for the orchestra…It’s tough-you’re out front, and everyone knows when you screw up… Haven’t been to the Blue Cafe in a while-maybe Sunday… I have a huge crush on a close friend of mine-I talk to her all the time-it’s really tough when you know they don’t share the feelings…I could go on, but I won’t. Visited my sister in St.Louis over Thanksgiving-nice, but cold-her baby son is darling. Saw’em again this Tuesday when they were out for her husband’s residency interviews. Went to a party/pottery sale of a business friend-nice Xmas presents-nice to socialize with somebody other than Diane & friends (not that I don’t like that …;-) Got my Christmas cards out-received several too-Eileen is living in Santa Barbara with her boyfriend-I also went through all my old correspondence and pictures-strange-I’m thinking about looking up one of those old friends-I’m also remembering some of that era-my sister found and returned an old Christmas present that was one of the really bad memories. Big ‘ol set of stuff, huh?

I’ve been having some interesting dreams, I remember more of them. I also am having some stuff of a more esoteric nature happening-basically my telepathy is improving…In some respects this is a bad thing. I’m also going through a lot of mental and emotional turmoil-this crush has affected me deeply. I live a very isolated life-I see only a few people and most of my time is spent at home-this certainly has its effect, too. I’m playing my guitar more now-my rhythm has improved a lot since moving to Kedjar-I’m thinking of starting a band… Another party tomorrow (Sat.)-I hope I don’t do what I did last Saturday…Eeeek.

That’s it! Exciting, eh? Yeah, right… Oh well, what can I say?

Well, it looks like this journal is getting updated every two weeks or so…it’s not like I’ve done things more often than that.

So, what’s happened to me since 8/24? I haven’t cleaned my house, car or clothes. I really should. No matter. Work is the usual… I bought a Revolution 1.5 (quadline kite) and have flown it a few times-it’s a blast-much more versatile than a dual line, though the tricks are different. I’m finally getting my kitchen, bathroom and trim done. I’ve been thinking about getting rid of lots of my stuff-soon…I’m watching more TV and playing vidgames. The usual Blue Cafe stuff-etc. Lotsa good ideas. The party on 8/24 was fun-I took 2 rolls of film-the guys were happy about the pics. Working out pretty regularly, not getting out of the house except on weekends. My parents moved-that’s about all from this locale… Oh, I got a letter printed in the Sierra Club activist newsletter.

Again, time slips through my hands like water…

I’m spiraling down into a cocoon, centered around my house-I haven’t been out (except for the gym & shopping) for two weeks-comes from working out of the home. I wonder what’s next… Anyways-since the last post-nothing except for work, sleep and the gym (at least my home & car are clean now!). I decided to not go out so much-and I haven’t. I did go out last night to deliver a computer to a friend-and I’ll probably go to a party tonight.

I’m planning a trip to my sister’s Thanksgiving-that’s about all the plans I have.

Well, it’s been two months! slipped away-I know I’m depressed-I sleep all the time and have no motivation. This is big problem…Oh well. I try not to dwell on all my problems-and some of them are quite serious.

So, what’s happened in two months? I quit consulting except for small projects-I work fulltime for one of my clients based in Baltimore. I worked at their office for two weeks or so, now I’m back at home programming fulltime. I like it. I bought and built a new computer & am selling my old one to a friend. I’m actually going to the gym regularly again. That started because there was a gym by the office. What else?

I had my 35th birthday last week. Went out to the Blue & had a few, went next door… My sister Holly had a baby boy on 7/13. I don’t fly much, as both kites are broken. I’m smoking cigars occasionally now, and drinking port with them-a decadent habit… I’m cleaning my house more regularly-and my car too! Played golf with my dad a few weeks ago. What an exciting life I lead??

I’ve also had some interesting insights lately and have been working on my essays-maybe some of that will come up here soon…I’ve also been working through my backlog of books.

That’s about all…bye for now.

Another week slipped away-and half another one-I think I’m depressed-I sleep all the time and have no motivation…Maybe it’s withdrawal from all the booze and stuff. June 1st weekend was the gamelan concert-it went well-we’re planning some informal practices later in the month… The rest of the week was work-I did go over to the Blue Tue, Thurs & Sat-no drinking, which was wierd. Ken came over here Tuesday to see the place, etc. Sherrie’s birthday Thursday. Met a nice woman Sat-but didn’t get her number-oh well, so what else is new? I flew & practiced golf & slept the rest away. Yesterday was the usual.

Another week slips away-I haven’t touched NALEO stuff-hopefully this weekend. I also want to fly & do my wash, as well as get my car in the shop. Well, the day is almost ended, another busy day-peed the morning away, visited Custom, bought some stuff at Fry’s, food shopped, and the usual fantasies and frustrations of everyday life…I did successfully resist temptation…

It’s Monday-Memorial day FWIW…Last week ended up as the usual-frantic work, drinking at night. I don’t remember sk8ing home on Fri., and woke up with a MASSIVE hangover, and missed a deadline-this is a MAJOR problem. So…I’m stopping the weeknights out, the partying at Adi’s, etc. I’m restarting the morning/evening stuff, and hopefully even the weekly schedule. I need to tighten the screws on my life, and NOW. I also realized several things over the past two weeks, but not to say here yet. Enough. I need to get this stuff done, and that’s it!

Well, this time at least I’m picking this up sooner–what’s happening is that I don’t use this computer much-I seem to be on the road a lot lately… What’s up? Sunday was a wash-laze, laze. I thought about going to see Candye Kane-didn’t. Monday was WORK until 7, ‘rents, Blue, at Adi’s until 3 or so. Tuesday was off, ACLU, gamelan. Today is work, again. Just picked up weenie roast tix-08Th row! Now, the question is: who will I take???

Guess what-I haven’t picked this up for ANOTHER THREE WEEKS…So what else is new. I’ve been so busy, but with a complete lack of early-morning work, motivation or direction. In someways I’m free running… So what has happened? Work, as usual, laze, as usual, spi stuff, as usual, the Blue, as usual, Adi/Wolf’s, as usual, I bought a notebook, some music & some perfume. I’m becoming more female by the day. Just a matter of time before I start wearing dresses… I’m having some interesting spi stuff. I can access all points up to the eye chakra, though just access, no real balance or control or ability. I have to force myself back to the heart, as that’s where I REALLY need to balance everything out. It’s working, though I have some difficulty controlling the upward flow-I’m so used to just letting it go up without bounds-PRACTICE… See ‘ya

Well, another weekend past-and I did squat. grrrr… Friday was the Blue-Adi’s-we went over to the abandoned building next door-way kOOl + the usual spi shit. Home at 5am, sleep all day Sat, worked Sunday. I HATE my life…

Well, well, well. It’s Friday, and it’s been THREE weeks since I picked up THIS. No matter. My life is finally settling into something of a lull again. The major part of RDS is done, the NALEO project is winding down, and it’s time to bill for March (three weeks late.) So what has happened in three weeks? Not much-work, work, work, kite flying, gamelan, Blue Cafe. The usual shit… I blew up my PC after getting high with a guy from gamelan class. I had two small trips and freaked out after the second. It is SO wierd-all this psi shit goes on, and it’s either all in my head or no one else can perceive it. BIG BANG BABY… No more of THAT for a while (yeah, right…) Sis’s b’day-I’m finally sending her xmas presents…NOT

Another work week almost done. The infamous RDS project is almost finished, and two other ones loom. I was able to take a nice mid-afternoon nap, which I haven’t done in a while. Unfortunately, Chris at ACLU is having more serious problems with his Win95 system, so I may have to deal with that. Not much else going on-laze, laze. My homebrew is getting better by the week. I’m still thinking of the crushes I have, which is never very good for my mood. Oh well. Next day.

Wednesday-busy week-my project is behind, but I’m making progress…ACLU and Levy, virii, screwed up installs and the usual. Went to the Blue tonight-too late to see Diana (sigh), but good chats and a nice Eileen type, even though she hung out with the drummer…My life sucks-I NEED female companionship.

Well, here is it Sunday might and the project isn’t done-oh well. I spent Saturday flying kites and watching a kite tournament. I got sunburned as well. Went to the Blue, the Fabulous Thunderbirds played. I finally talked a bit to Janey, and with another girl…I’m finally getting back into it after Marybelle… Went over to Adi’s afterwards-stayed late, late, late & smoked and drank with some wierd straight guy & Adi. Got up hungover, slept ’til 2 PM. Lazed the whole rest of the day away. The stuff with that girl is heartening-maybe I’ll have a girlfriend soon.

Friday night spent at home-jel & online-work during the day. I’m having a lot of difficulty doing this project-all the pot I’ve smoked over the years, I guess. At least my beer tastes good…

Another week has passed-I’m sick of working and sick of the rest. All I’ve done is work, and I HATE it. I have a HUGE deadline Monday, and I’m not even close…I have no one-the women I like don’t know I exist. What’s next, I don’t even care. Ah, but blessed sleep and oblivion awaits me. For a few hours, at least.