Daily posting-12/20/1996

I finally am getting around to this-my life, and time is slipping like sand or water through my hands….

What to write about since September??? Quite a bit has happened, but in many respects, nothing at all has happened. Such is my life… Here’s what’s up in a factual list (this is culled from memories and journal entries): I got my kitchen, bathroom, trim and couches done, put up some pictures, got a new TV, took my bookshelf out of the living room, got rid of a bunch of books and stuff, cleaned up closets, etc.-the place looks nice. Worked out for a while, stopped, flew my kite regularly for a while, stopped (went flying Tues.-I felt much better afterwards). Went to a kite convention in Oct.-the wind sucked, but good to see all those flyers. Played in the UCLA gamelan again this fall-good, but I got moved to Kedjar from Djegong-I’m still learning to be the metronome for the orchestra…It’s tough-you’re out front, and everyone knows when you screw up… Haven’t been to the Blue Cafe in a while-maybe Sunday… I have a huge crush on a close friend of mine-I talk to her all the time-it’s really tough when you know they don’t share the feelings…I could go on, but I won’t. Visited my sister in St.Louis over Thanksgiving-nice, but cold-her baby son is darling. Saw’em again this Tuesday when they were out for her husband’s residency interviews. Went to a party/pottery sale of a business friend-nice Xmas presents-nice to socialize with somebody other than Diane & friends (not that I don’t like that …;-) Got my Christmas cards out-received several too-Eileen is living in Santa Barbara with her boyfriend-I also went through all my old correspondence and pictures-strange-I’m thinking about looking up one of those old friends-I’m also remembering some of that era-my sister found and returned an old Christmas present that was one of the really bad memories. Big ‘ol set of stuff, huh?

I’ve been having some interesting dreams, I remember more of them. I also am having some stuff of a more esoteric nature happening-basically my telepathy is improving…In some respects this is a bad thing. I’m also going through a lot of mental and emotional turmoil-this crush has affected me deeply. I live a very isolated life-I see only a few people and most of my time is spent at home-this certainly has its effect, too. I’m playing my guitar more now-my rhythm has improved a lot since moving to Kedjar-I’m thinking of starting a band… Another party tomorrow (Sat.)-I hope I don’t do what I did last Saturday…Eeeek.

That’s it! Exciting, eh? Yeah, right… Oh well, what can I say?

Daily posting-9/12/1996

Well, it looks like this journal is getting updated every two weeks or so…it’s not like I’ve done things more often than that.

So, what’s happened to me since 8/24? I haven’t cleaned my house, car or clothes. I really should. No matter. Work is the usual… I bought a Revolution 1.5 (quadline kite) and have flown it a few times-it’s a blast-much more versatile than a dual line, though the tricks are different. I’m finally getting my kitchen, bathroom and trim done. I’ve been thinking about getting rid of lots of my stuff-soon…I’m watching more TV and playing vidgames. The usual Blue Cafe stuff-etc. Lotsa good ideas. The party on 8/24 was fun-I took 2 rolls of film-the guys were happy about the pics. Working out pretty regularly, not getting out of the house except on weekends. My parents moved-that’s about all from this locale… Oh, I got a letter printed in the Sierra Club activist newsletter.

Daily posting-8/24/1996

Again, time slips through my hands like water…

I’m spiraling down into a cocoon, centered around my house-I haven’t been out (except for the gym & shopping) for two weeks-comes from working out of the home. I wonder what’s next… Anyways-since the last post-nothing except for work, sleep and the gym (at least my home & car are clean now!). I decided to not go out so much-and I haven’t. I did go out last night to deliver a computer to a friend-and I’ll probably go to a party tonight.

I’m planning a trip to my sister’s Thanksgiving-that’s about all the plans I have.

Daily posting-8/6/1996

Well, it’s been two months! slipped away-I know I’m depressed-I sleep all the time and have no motivation. This is big problem…Oh well. I try not to dwell on all my problems-and some of them are quite serious.

So, what’s happened in two months? I quit consulting except for small projects-I work fulltime for one of my clients based in Baltimore. I worked at their office for two weeks or so, now I’m back at home programming fulltime. I like it. I bought and built a new computer & am selling my old one to a friend. I’m actually going to the gym regularly again. That started because there was a gym by the office. What else?

I had my 35th birthday last week. Went out to the Blue & had a few, went next door… My sister Holly had a baby boy on 7/13. I don’t fly much, as both kites are broken. I’m smoking cigars occasionally now, and drinking port with them-a decadent habit… I’m cleaning my house more regularly-and my car too! Played golf with my dad a few weeks ago. What an exciting life I lead??

I’ve also had some interesting insights lately and have been working on my essays-maybe some of that will come up here soon…I’ve also been working through my backlog of books.

That’s about all…bye for now.

Daily posting-6/11/1996

Another week slipped away-and half another one-I think I’m depressed-I sleep all the time and have no motivation…Maybe it’s withdrawal from all the booze and stuff. June 1st weekend was the gamelan concert-it went well-we’re planning some informal practices later in the month… The rest of the week was work-I did go over to the Blue Tue, Thurs & Sat-no drinking, which was wierd. Ken came over here Tuesday to see the place, etc. Sherrie’s birthday Thursday. Met a nice woman Sat-but didn’t get her number-oh well, so what else is new? I flew & practiced golf & slept the rest away. Yesterday was the usual.

Daily posting-5/30/1996

Another week slips away-I haven’t touched NALEO stuff-hopefully this weekend. I also want to fly & do my wash, as well as get my car in the shop. Well, the day is almost ended, another busy day-peed the morning away, visited Custom, bought some stuff at Fry’s, food shopped, and the usual fantasies and frustrations of everyday life…I did successfully resist temptation…

Daily posting-5/27/1996

It’s Monday-Memorial day FWIW…Last week ended up as the usual-frantic work, drinking at night. I don’t remember sk8ing home on Fri., and woke up with a MASSIVE hangover, and missed a deadline-this is a MAJOR problem. So…I’m stopping the weeknights out, the partying at Adi’s, etc. I’m restarting the morning/evening stuff, and hopefully even the weekly schedule. I need to tighten the screws on my life, and NOW. I also realized several things over the past two weeks, but not to say here yet. Enough. I need to get this stuff done, and that’s it!

Daily posting-5/22/1996

Well, this time at least I’m picking this up sooner–what’s happening is that I don’t use this computer much-I seem to be on the road a lot lately… What’s up? Sunday was a wash-laze, laze. I thought about going to see Candye Kane-didn’t. Monday was WORK until 7, ‘rents, Blue, at Adi’s until 3 or so. Tuesday was off, ACLU, gamelan. Today is work, again. Just picked up weenie roast tix-08Th row! Now, the question is: who will I take???

Daily posting-5/16/1996

Guess what-I haven’t picked this up for ANOTHER THREE WEEKS…So what else is new. I’ve been so busy, but with a complete lack of early-morning work, motivation or direction. In someways I’m free running… So what has happened? Work, as usual, laze, as usual, spi stuff, as usual, the Blue, as usual, Adi/Wolf’s, as usual, I bought a notebook, some music & some perfume. I’m becoming more female by the day. Just a matter of time before I start wearing dresses… I’m having some interesting spi stuff. I can access all points up to the eye chakra, though just access, no real balance or control or ability. I have to force myself back to the heart, as that’s where I REALLY need to balance everything out. It’s working, though I have some difficulty controlling the upward flow-I’m so used to just letting it go up without bounds-PRACTICE… See ‘ya

Daily posting-4/28/1996

Well, another weekend past-and I did squat. grrrr… Friday was the Blue-Adi’s-we went over to the abandoned building next door-way kOOl + the usual spi shit. Home at 5am, sleep all day Sat, worked Sunday. I HATE my life…